A Wobbly Courtship
By Shirley W. Porter

Cupid is a careless little archer and often picks most unconventional places to practice his art.  This trait of the reckless little bowman explains why the romance of two young people had its beginning and best running in the cabin of a colored female bootlegger.  Just why the son of Mars and Venus was hanging around that bootlegging cabin is unknown.  He may drink, if so, that would explain his frequent selection of mismatched targets.

Aunt Lizzie, a fat, jolly, "Befo de war" old darkey was proprietress of the "joint."  There were several barrooms in the town, but Aunt Lizzie had a select clientele, both male and female, young and old, and she did a lucrative business, even during the week days when the "bars" were open; on Sundays her place was the only oasis in the desert that afforded relief from the Saturday night hangovers.  Her ostensible vocation was as a laundress and she was an excellent one.  Once or twice a year the police raided her cabin, confiscated her stock of liquids and fined her, an hour after she would be restocked and on the job again.

On this particular Sunday morning a debonair young fellow on the way down town for his Sunday paper stopped in for a matinal “bracer."  Aunt Lizzie set out the ingredients, he mixed his drink to his taste and was raising the glass to his lips, when the door swung open and in bounced a young lady of some seventeen years.  She was a beauty.  Black hair, big dark gray eyes, rosy cheeks, and a form Venus might have envied.  Jack Gordon set down his glass untasted and bowed, remarking, "Young lady you came at a most inopportune time, unless you will join me."  The gray eyes shot him an indignant glance, "I thank you, sir, I don't drink."  She reached for the bundle of laces Aunt Lizzie handed her and continued as she turned to the door "and I haven't any use for anyone that does."  "And I," drawled Jack as he again raised his glass, "haven't any use for anyone who doesn't."  The door slammed and she was gone.  "What pretty little spitfire was that," he asked.  "Dat's Miss Millie," replied Aunt Lizzie, "she's here tendin' to the housekeepin' for Missus Harper, who's sick.  She's kinfolks."  "That's a stiff hurdle to take at the start," said Jack.  "Harper and I don't play on the same piano. I blocked a crooked deal of his once and he loves me like a kid loves castor oil, however, I intend to get acquainted with that little beauty in spite of him." 

A few evenings later Gordon stopped at Aunt Lizzie's for some collars she had done for him, and there was Miss Millie busily engaged pressing some ribbons.  She had run over to get the use of a hot iron.  Jack bowed and smiled, "I am not on the hunt for any liquid concoctions this time, I just called by for some collars."  Aunt Lizzie promptly jumped into the gap with, "Miss Millie, dat's Mister Jack.  Mister Jack dis is Miss Millie."  Jack threw up his head and laughed, "Aunt Lizzie you are worth your weight in gold; Miss Millie, the proprieties having been properly attended to, we may now claim the right to enjoy the privileges of acquaintanceship."  The young girl blushed, but finally, also burst into laughter.  The ice was broken, and soon they were chatting away like old friends.  Jack asked permission to call and it was readily granted.  He said nothing, however, of Harper's feelings toward himself.  The next evening he called and enjoyed a pleasant evening.  Harper passed through the room, Gordon spoke pleasantly, but Harper did not reply.  Jack laughed and the girl look startled.  The next day he received a note, per Aunt Lizzie, saying Harper had forbid her holding any communication, whatever, with him.  Jack swore, and tore up the note - his first impulse was to call Harper to account at once, but on second thought, fearing this would cause unpleasantness for the girl, he reluctantly forbore.  An evening or two later, as Jack was passing, Aunt Lizzie called him, he walked in, and came face to face with Millie.  She blushed rosily and said, "she had decided, that Harper had no right to forbid her seeing him and she was not going to obey him."  Thereafter they met often in Aunt Lizzie's place.  Their friendship soon ripened into love, but she refused to marry him until she was of age.

When Mrs. Harper recovered, Millie went to live with a married sister in a nearby town.  Jack rode over often, everything was fine, till Harper heard of these visits, and by some means turned the sister against Jack and she forbade him the house.  They met at the house of a friendly neighbor, the sister found this out and raised such a row, Millie left, and took a position as housekeeper with a family in Jack's home town.  Unfortunately for the lovers, the head of this family and Harper were birds of a feather and flocked so Harper again got in his underhand work.  This time, Jack's patience blew up, he picked a quarrel - under a side pretext - with Harper and gave him a good thrashing.  Millie's employer butted in, and got the same dose, consequently, Millie was again adrift.  Jack pleaded with her to marry him, but this, she obdurately refused to do until of legal age. She soon obtained a position as companion with a lady living twenty miles away.  Here their evil "Jinx" played his big trump.  The son of the house fell violently in love with Millie.  A heated political campaign was on, Jack as reporter for a particular paper was in the thick of it.  He wrote to her often, but could not visit her as often as she wished.  This piqued the young beauty and to discipline him, she began to play up to the other young fellow and write curt notes to Jack.  Jack rode out one stormy evening to see what the trouble was, [and] he found her dressed to attend a party in the neighborhood with the other young man.  She began to upbraid him and accuse him of not caring for her.  Jack tried to explain his situation, but she was in a perverse mood and would not listen and finally told him she didn't care if he never came again.  Jack at last told her, if she liked the other young man better, he would get out of the way and give them a fair field.  She answered that he could go as soon as he wished and walked out to the buggy and left for the party.

Jack rode back to town, resigned his position on the paper and left for a distant state.  Millie sent a very contrite letter, but Jack was gone and the letter was never delivered.  Their wobbly courtship was at an end.

Cupid had again played the devil with a pair of targets.